Someone once asked...
“I have noticed a variable resonance transdimensional fluctuation in the sub-crystalline matrix
stabalization frame of the phase shift inducer on my UMP2000. This along with a rapidly accelerating photonic pulse rate in the Heisenberg compensator transducer coil is causing a peculiar divergence in
the matter/information transmission stream.
How can this be corrected? Something simple please as I am not that technically inclined.”
Some minutes later a helpful list member answered...
“Clearly, your UMP2000 is suffering
from time sequence subharmonic distortion. This can be caused by a phase shift in the variable transducer module, creating a non-transient wave fluctuation in the photon finite element event horizon. Or, it could just be a little gremlin running around in there with a ball peen hammer. In any event, the solution is simple. Open your stores and launch the "Nanoparticle Distortion Modulator" package, which is available on UNNA.”
Clearly this explanation lacked major details, so the following excellent advice hit the list members' mailboxes not much later...
“Here's what you do. Get Geordi's eye piece. Adjust the tachion pulses to create a photon burst. Of course, if the problem is outside the Newton it is probably the deflector array. In that case, you
need to modulate the frequency thus creating a quantum singularity. Be careful not to violate the Prime Directive, unless you're a captain.”
Another helpful list member then decided that this problem called for a somewhat simpler solution...
“I reckon that a soft reset would do the trick...”
He seemed to be a bit unsure, though, so he added the following just in case...
...as long as you were travelling at relativistic speeds on a grazing trajectory with a <20mS pulsar when you did it.
Actually I had this a while back but the phase shift inducer was not implicated
so recrystallization was unnecessary. It's a tribute to the original Newton team that only a 20mS pulsar is required. Two a penny in this part of the local group.”
I am not sure if the
original poster’s problem was finally solved. He became quieter and quieter with every reply. If you can shed any additional light on his weird fluctuation problem, please by all means do so.